Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
