Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
