Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
