I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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