Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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