Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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