You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
North Korea, Best Korea!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
