oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize