theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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