so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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