They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
