Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
