there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
