let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
