I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize