You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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