please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
