so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
