We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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