i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
