I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
