guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
