More tranny stories later!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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