you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
