So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
