my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
