Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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