Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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