The brown eye won't let me do that either.
birth control should be required to get into college
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
