In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
