then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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