areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
