I didn't shave. On purpose
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize