he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
