like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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