im about as happy as oj after his trial
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
