I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
