he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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