He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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