god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize