Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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