So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize