in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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