i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
