Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
