Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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