i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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