On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
