Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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