I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
