8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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