its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
