k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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