Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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