but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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