i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
