Sponge bath it is.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
