That's intense
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
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