Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
