i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The power of my boobs compel you
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize