i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize