This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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