Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
