their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
