I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
he had hair everywhere except his balls
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
