were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
